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Many times a student will ask me for tips about picking up women at work, or some other place where it would be inappropriate for him to 'hit on' a woman. In situations where a man doesn't want to get a 'reputation', it is much better to take a more indirect route. Using my advice, with careful flirting, a man can get women to advance the relationship and pick him up instead. Specifically, we will use eye contact as a means of flirting, and false barriers to get women to make the first move.
In this type of situation, we are displaying tenative interest. Tenative interest not only a great way to generate attraction, but it also creates a wonderful opportunity for some fun flirting. What you should be thinking is "I like what I see, but do you REALLY meet my standards?" Adopt this frame, and practice it next time you're interacting with a woman. I guarantee you'll get women to react a bit more favorably. They will want to meet your standards, and you'll get women qualifying themselves to you.
Great flirting requires mastery of eye contact. Here are guidelines for eye contact flirting:
1. When a woman is acting favorably to you, or you have a fun vibe happening, keep solid eye contact. In this way you reward her, and she will do more of what you like.
2. As things progress and you are alone with a woman, stick to the 70 / 30 rule. This states that 70% of the time you should be holding eye contact, and 30% of the time, you should not. This sets the stage to get women comfortable with you and ready for seduction.
3. When you are saying something funny, it's better to not seek eye contact. In this way it doesn't appear that you are looking for approval for your jokes.
4. If you are making a move physically and touching her, do not look where you are touching. This signals to her that you aren't seeking her approval for you escalation.
5. When approaching a group for the first time, and you are talking, balance eye contact throughout the various men and women in the group. The idea is to get women involved in your conversation, but at the same time you keep your interest on a tenative level. (This disarms the men and shows you are not a threat)
6. Never use your own eye contact in attempt to get women to hold eye contact with you. She should be trying to get eye contact with you more than you are with her. To do this effectively, it shouldn't be something that you focus on too much. Remember, this is flirting, and it should be fun.
Once you have the tenative interest mindset down, and are good at fliritng, you will set up a really fun vibe between you and the woman. At this point, you want to put up a false barrier to give her something to overcome.
Here are some examples of false barriers. One friend of mine is a DJ, and gets gigs at parties There are plenty of beautiful women at these parties, but he doesn't want to break the professional relationship. He can demonstrate his interest in a responsible way by saying: "Hey. I like you but you're going to get me in trouble! I have a job to do!"
Or, if an attractive woman comes up to request a song he can say something like "At first I thought you were cute, but then you asked me to play X! Can you do any better?" Again, this is flirting, and it should be playful.
In a more general work situation you can say something like: "You know, you are so adorable. Good thing we're co-workers, or else we'd be getting into all kinds of trouble." Then sit back and watch as she works like the devil to plot some 'trouble' for the two of you.
Remember, these are false barriers, and in order for them to work, you must first get women interested through your flirting. When a woman is interested enough, barriers give her just the push she needs to motivate her into making a move. So the key is, get women into your playful vibe with flirting, then playfully throw up the barrier. You'll be surprised just how easy it really is.
学生多次问我如何在单位或其他不太适合“放电”的地方泡妞。如果一个男人不想被弄得“声名狼藉”，就最好采取间接路线。只要采用我的谨慎调情法，他就能泡上妞，并且反而让她来主动进攻。尤其是，我们会使用目光接触为一种调情手段， 利用虚假的障碍来让女人走出第一步。
在这种情况下，我们表现出不确定性的兴趣。不确定性的兴趣不仅是一种行之有效的制造吸引力的方法，而且还为一些有趣调情创造绝佳机会。你应当想的是：“我喜欢我看到的东西，但你真的符合我的标准吗？” 按照这种思路，下次当你和女人接触时练习一下。我保证你会让女人做出更亲切的回应。她们会想去达到你的标准，你也就会让女人向你做自我检验。
高超的调情需要学会目光接触的本领。这里是通过目光接触进行调情的指导方法：
1. 当一个女人正在亲切地和你交流，或者你获得了一个轻松有趣的气氛，那么就保持稳固的目光接触。这样你就嘉奖了她，她就会做更多你喜欢的事情。
2. 随着事情进展，并且你和女人独处时，遵循70 / 30 规则。就是说，在70%的时间里，你应当保持目光接触；在30%的时间里，则不要进行目光接触。这样才能让女人对你感到舒服自在，从而利于引诱。
3. 当你说有意思的东西时，最好不要进行目光接触。这样，你才不会看上去像是在对你的笑话寻求认同。
4. 如果你正在做身体上的移动，并触摸她，那么就不要看你正在触摸的地方。这就给她发了这样一个信号：你没有为你的行动升级而寻求她的认同。
5. 初次与一群人搭讪，当你在说话时，要对这群人中的男男女女都进行目光接触，以寻求平衡。这是出于这样衣个想法：既让女人们融入你的谈话，同时又把你的兴趣保持在不确定性的水平上（这会接触男人们的武装，表明你不是威胁）
6. 绝不要用你自己的目光接触来试图促使女人对你也保持目光接触。她应当正在试着和你进行目光接触，而且远甚于你对她的努力。为了更行之有效，就不应当太过投入了。要记住，这是调情，因此就应该轻松有趣。
一旦你拥有了不确定性兴趣的心态，并且变得善于调情，你就会在你和女人之间营造出一种真正有趣的气氛。达到了这一点，你就想要制造一个虚假的障碍来让她去克服。
这里有一些虚假障碍的实例。我有个朋友是个DJ，在派对上玩爵士乐。在那些派对上有很多美女，但他不愿破坏他的职业关系。他可以以对工作负责的方式来表现出他对女人的兴趣：“嗨，我喜欢你，但你会让我惹上麻烦的。我有活儿得干！”
或者，要是一位迷人的美女前来点一首歌，他就会这样说：“我一开始以为你很可爱，可接着你居然要我放某某歌！你就不能点首更好听的吗？” 再说一次，这是调情，因此就应当要逗趣。
在更一般性的工作场合，你可以这样说：“那什么，你真是人见人爱。好事情是我们是同事，但坏事情是我们会遇到各种麻烦的。” 然后静观其变，看着她就像邪魔一样为你们两个策划一些“麻烦”。
要记住，这些都是虚假的障碍，为了让它们行之有效，你必须先通过调情让女人产生出兴趣。当女人有足够的兴趣时，障碍就会给她一个推动力，她需要一个动机来促使她自己做出行动。因此关键在于：利用调情让女人进入你的逗趣氛围，然后再开玩笑似的抛出障碍。你会吃惊地发现居然真的是这么的容易。
