BARKING orders works if you’re the boss, but what hope is there for a lesser mortal asking favours from a teammate in another time zone, for example? The answer is zero unless you’ve polished your powers of persuasion until they shine. Here’s how to influence others to get what you want at work: 

    1. Who’s in charge? To wrap your boss around your little finger, work out what is important to him or her, says Octavius Black, managing director of The Mind Gym, a training company. “Give him or her what they want so they are relaxed and on board,” he says. “Then you can move in [and ask] for what you want.” 

    2. Call in favours. Research shows that people are more likely to help you if you have done something for them first, says Steve Martin, the UK head of Influence at Work, a consultancy and training firm. “Good business people . . . understand this and look to invest in others, knowing that when they need help they have a network of obligation that they can call on.” 

    3. Resolving a dispute. If you want to turn a discussion in your favour, forget what someone is telling you and really listen to find out what lies behind his or her argument, Black says. Empha-sise any points of agreement before suggesting a solution that meets their interests and, importantly, satisfies your own. 

    4. Find common ground. Colleagues are more likely to say yes to you if they think that you have something in common, Martin says. Find out what you can about a prospective contact and then say if you graduated from the same university before making your request. A negotiation is more likely to be successful if such personal links are established. 

    5. The power of authority. You are more likely to get others to respond positively to a request if they think that you’re an expert, Martin says. Find a colleague to introduce you as a know-it-all to boost your standing before asking the new contact to support you or your work. 

    6. Win or lose? "We are most influenced by the idea of losing something than the idea of gaining the same thing,” Martin says. We are also more likely to follow the crowd in periods of uncertainty. So, when you write a proposal, underline what the firm stands to lose. 

    7. Press delete. Don’t copy too many correspondents into an e-mail if you want anyone to respond, Martin says. “People will read lots of names and think that someone else will deal with it, and as a result no one does.” 

    8. Don’t get carried away. If you’re found bending the truth to get your own way, your colleagues are unlikely to be swayed by your arguments in the future. 

    9. Coach yourself. Sometimes you have to talk yourself into the things that you want such as a big promotion, says Rachel Brushfield, a career coach at Energise, an executive coaching service. Take time out to ask yourself open questions about a goal such as, “What do I really want?” she says. Write down the answers then take simple actions to move your plans forward. 

    10. Yes, you can. Self-confidence goes a long way in getting you what you want. Ask friends and colleagues to give you some feedback on your qualities and achievements. Keep the comments in a happy notes file and read it when you need a shot of confidence, Brushfield says. 

    如果你是老板，你尽可以大声咆哮、发号施令。但是一个地位不高的凡夫俗子向身处另一个时区的团队成员寻求帮助的希望又有多大呢？除非磨砺你的说服本领、使它如利刃般闪闪发光、无往不利，否则你就毫无希望。下面谈谈如何在工作中影响它人，使你的工作心想事成。

    ⒈谁说话算话？施展手段摸清你的老板，搞清楚他最看中什么，奥克塔维斯·布莱克如是说；他是”思想训练馆“－－ 一家培训公司，的执行董事。他说：”他们要什么给他们什么，让他们精神放松，登上你的战船。然后，你再走上前去，提出要求。“

    ⒉收回好处。作为“工作影响力”，一家咨询培训公司的英国部门主任，斯蒂夫·马丁说，研究发现，人们更愿意在他人首先帮助自己的情况下帮助他人。他说：“优秀的商人……明白这一点并期望在他人身上投资；因为他们知道，在需要帮助的时候，他们就有一个欠你的人情关系网可以指望回报。

    ⒊解决纠纷。布莱克说，如果你想把一项讨论变得对自己有利，那就不要纠缠他人说的话，而要仔细倾听、小心地找出在他意见后面隐藏的潜台词。强调双方的一致意见，然后再提出符合对方利益的，更重要的是，满足你自己需求的解决办法。

    ⒋找出共同点。马丁说，如果同事发现你和他有共同点，他更有可能同意你的要求。尽可能找到要同你打交道的人的资料，先聊聊你们俩毕业于同一所大学，接着再提你的要求。如果能建立这样的人情关系，谈判就更可能成功。

    ⒌权威的力量。马丁认为，如果人们认为你是个专家，人们更可能对你的要求作出积极的响应。接触一个新关系时，先找同事作个介绍，把你说成是无所不知，提高你的身价；然后再让你的新关系支持你或你的工作。

    ⒍赢得还失去？马丁说，我们更容易受到失去某种东西的想法左右，而不是受到得到同一样东西的念头影响，在不安的时刻人们也容易随大流。因此，在写计划书时，要突出公司可能会失去的东西。

    ⒎使用删除键。如果你想让别人给你回信，马丁说，不要往伊妹儿中粘贴太多的联系人。“人们看到许多的名字，他们会想还有别人会管这事，结果没有人回你的信。”

    ⒏不要丧失原则。如果同事发现，你为了达到目的而歪曲事实，那么将来你怎么说也很难改变他们的观点。

    ⒐自我教育。雷切尔·布拉施菲尔德说，有时你只有说服自己来实现自己的愿望，比如升职。她是一家管理人员辅导机构－－”激励“，的职业训练师。她说，花点时间，问问自己有关职业目标的问题，例如，”我真正想要的是什么？“记下你的答案，然后采取简单的行动来推进你的计划。

    10.你能行。在实现你的愿望过程中，自信十分重要。征询一下朋友和同事对你的能力和成就的评价。布拉施菲尔德说，将这些评论写在一个记录快乐的纸条上，当你需要一些自信来激励自己时，就读读它